min[d] that bird

the following docudrama is brought to you by the letter R and the number 8 (it's my favorite...and the number of people in my story)

title: the renegade robin
author: God

the scene: downstairs at the bennett's house
the time: night

cast:
Jeremiah Bennett.........Narrator
Kim Bennett..................Knowledge Bearer
Jess Bennett..................Observer
Melissa Clemens...........Prisoner of Circumstance
Gary Gromniak.............Victim
Betsy Gromniak............Concerned Lamenter
Erik Platt........................Master of the Beast
Jeanne Hackenberg......Town Crier

the story:
tonight a small contingent of friends had a taste of what our roles would be if we were ever in a crisis situation.

although i should be the analytical one, mathematically speaking, it was our narrator who noticed a trend in the reactions of our group as a robin flew around our heads, beating its wings madly. the robin, in its chaotic path around the room defecated on the victim. showing true concern for someone in the room, the concerned lamenter (his wife), informed him he would be showering the moment he got home. when the bird first entered, there was a scream (town crier) and a lot of ducking for cover. the prisoner of circumstance had nothing to shield her from the onslaught of the beast, as someone had used all of the pillows within both their reaches to hide from the bird. there is some doubt as to what the observer was doing the whole time (the pillows blocked my view), but she was definitely more cool and collected than some. the only brave one of the crew was the master of the beast, who grabbed the bird and shoved it back into the wilderness from whence it came.

why, you ask, did the bird come in the house to begin with?...the knowledge bearer revealed all in a personal interview, telling us of her daily war against the bird who lives on their door and the secret weapon they use to prevent this very situation....