commerce

i figured that is a better title than "ass-enhancers and their magical marketing." commerce is a form of the word commercialism, right?

i was flipping through some coupon papers today, realizing that i barely used any of the coupons i cut out last time, when i made it to my favorite section of the clipper. that's right, the "i have nothing better to do with my time than to buy the most tacky and obscure trinket, clothing, or digital wonder from the coupon saver" pages...

a few weeks ago i was almost tempted to send in for the porcelain elvis christmas tree shrine, complete with neon lights - i decided against it though, as i feared it might break during shipping. today was different - i found the most perfect invention in the coupon book under the phrase "has gravity taken its toll on your posterior?" a form enhancing undergarment that one can use to accentuate the buttocks and curve out that flat posterior. and it looks so real on the model that i decided to send in for my very own pair...NOT! the great news is that the butt pads can be removed, so one day you can please sir mix-alot and the next you can go back to being as flat as a pancake. somehow i think people would notice (and not in a "my she must be well exercised" way, but more of a "how much money do you think she's spent over the last few weeks on butt reduction and expansion?")

i'm sure every once in a while someone may find a great bargain or gift idea from these pages, but i sure hope the posterior enhancer isn't one of them.

btw, what is the correct name for those newspapers inserts that you clip coupons from?